I was born with a zero on all possible dimensions of intellect. Unwillingly and unknowingly or maybe willingly but obscure about willings, I was acquiring knowledge from my surroundings. Slowly and slowly those surroundings developed inside me, an idea of what we call as GOD. By then, I always used to think of him as a very unassailable, potent helper and friend of mine and moreover a giver or bestower of achievements which I ought to achieve. I then started depending on him for my undertakings. By the time, of which I am talking about, I was ripened enough to at least think that I want satisfaction in whatever I do. I knew of no heights, I used to have very small goals; they were no higher than scoring enough marks to get the report card signed. Even with such a small set of goals, I used to depend on GOD and I knew of no reason why his presence should be questioned or I should say that the thought of questioning his presence never knocked in my mind, and so, I never searched for any reason supporting the disbelief in his existence. Having believed in him as a helping hand, I never put my full effort on anything and that used to end up in failure in achieving what I planned for. But his role does not end here, he again came to mind, but this time as a bestower and he made me believe that I should get satisfied in whatever he has given and I did exactly what he wanted; I got satisfied with lesser! And ahh… My goodness... Satisfaction was all I needed in life!
But this was the story of old times. Now I am mature enough and I can doubt on his friendship, challenge his powers, question his perception of being a giver of all achievements, and even question his existence. But sometimes, the fear of ghosts compels me to believe in them and the belief in ghosts compels me to believe in the very counterpart of them, GOD. But then, the society, which claims to have a very strong belief in god, which depends on him for its undertakings, which consider him as the supreme power; heads towards the Tantriks to get rid of ghosts, of which I considered god as a counterpart! Are Tantriks more powerful than god?
Now I am different from bulk of the society which, do not give their best, do not get the best, do not even get the thing which they thought as best, but still, in the name of god, get satisfied with the lesser. Disbelieving in god, sometimes makes me sad though, I wanted him in my life for the things which are not in my hands, I pray to him to keep my beloved ones happy, but the very next moment the feeling of his non-existence leave me pitiful, I feel helpless, I feel lonely. His presence is an obstacle in the path of success but his absence is not pleasant either. I love being knowledgeable and intelligent, but the more knowledgeable and intelligent I become, more I question on existence of supernatural things and thus, god. But as of now I know of no reason to believe in his existence and even if I believe, I cannot rely on him for what I want to achieve in life.
But this was the story of old times. Now I am mature enough and I can doubt on his friendship, challenge his powers, question his perception of being a giver of all achievements, and even question his existence. But sometimes, the fear of ghosts compels me to believe in them and the belief in ghosts compels me to believe in the very counterpart of them, GOD. But then, the society, which claims to have a very strong belief in god, which depends on him for its undertakings, which consider him as the supreme power; heads towards the Tantriks to get rid of ghosts, of which I considered god as a counterpart! Are Tantriks more powerful than god?
Now I am different from bulk of the society which, do not give their best, do not get the best, do not even get the thing which they thought as best, but still, in the name of god, get satisfied with the lesser. Disbelieving in god, sometimes makes me sad though, I wanted him in my life for the things which are not in my hands, I pray to him to keep my beloved ones happy, but the very next moment the feeling of his non-existence leave me pitiful, I feel helpless, I feel lonely. His presence is an obstacle in the path of success but his absence is not pleasant either. I love being knowledgeable and intelligent, but the more knowledgeable and intelligent I become, more I question on existence of supernatural things and thus, god. But as of now I know of no reason to believe in his existence and even if I believe, I cannot rely on him for what I want to achieve in life.
